Overachiever

Sometimes I feel I'm suffocating
Under the weight
Of my own unfulfilled expectations

mel·an·chol·y

I am a
Heart-shaped stone
Sunken emotion
Drowned in the
Bottom of a well

Reminder

Rain cools my fire
Standing resolute
Face to the sky
Open to the wisdom
A reminder:
I am the lightning storm

Fan

The connection can be kept

At least on your end

You've got the same access

As everyone else in the crowd

I'll keep on shining

Magic flowing out of me

You're free to soak it in

Like all the other fans

Dissociation

Are these experiences
Why it's so often
Nothing seems real
Emotions floating outside of me
Mind living in its own realm
I feel disconnected
From my body
Away from what it's seen
Violations of the past

California - Part 4

The morning I woke up horrified
You next to me in that bed
I acted in survival mode
You couldn't read it
How my skin fucking crawled
When you'd touch me
I even let you kiss me
Walk me through the airport
Your eyes clouded with what you'd done
Like that's what you think love is
When I think of it I still get sick
Even all these years later
I shudder

California - Part 3

The blackout took so much of that evening
I suppose I should be grateful
The flashes of memory I have
Sobbing in your car
Parking in the towaway zone
Laying down to sleep
Spinning out of my mind
Coming into blips of consciousness
You inside my body