Smile for Me

you’ll find me curled up

in the shadow 

in the valley of doubt 

wearing my lipstick

trying in vain

to feign enthusiasm 

Scrapbook

I am a wild collection 

of scraps 

barely held together 

with fraying twine

I Walked Away

 There comes a point when I have nothing left to give

Guilt you swing over my head like sandbags

Because apologies weren't enough for your timeline

Your venom stopped being bearable

Weight and self-righteousness never lifts

All the bonds in your life crumble away

When they don't kowtow to your indignation

Disagree with your entitlement

I don't live up to that pedestal 

Somehow also wrapped in jealousy

When all I knew from you was mean-spirited

Complaints to drag down to your level

Calculated confrontations to ruin special moments

It stopped being worth it

To the ones who came before me

 I often say to her

I don't know how anyone let her get away

But I am thankful

For the lessons she learned

Growing from loving, conflict

How she learned to claim her voice

She tells me now

The best ways to love her

And boy do I 

Oh

I get why you're angry

Since you've realized what you lost

I'd be devastated too

Because you knew it

For a time but 

Over time, under communication

Faded or changed

As love tends to do

When the stars aren't aligned

And differences start to matter more

But this connection is ordained

By celestial light

Maybe you think I'm foolish

I don't think so

Perhaps it's arrogance but I think it's

More time and experience

Knowing what forever really looks like

How the paths we took

Though separate and winding

Converged perfectly in this moment

Different yet somehow the same

Two halves of a heart

Identical flames

I don't begrudge you

Digital swan songs

Heal however you need to, sis

Then move along

Find yourself

Meet your shadow

Dig deep and maybe

You'll find someone 

Whose soul you can nourish

But...

This one is mine

Church

 Manifestation prayers

Vulnerable confession

Worship bodies

Drink of each other

Speak in tongues

Tithe with gifts

Spiritual and holy

Our love is a religion

A Poem for Her

 Being with her is like

Stepping into the sunlight

After living in a basement apartment 

With no windows 

She makes me feel held 

Like the way 6 year old me

Would hold onto ceramic figurines

Fragile treasures 

I was lucky to touch 

She treats my body

Like a collector caressing pages

Of a first edition

She swells like the ocean

Mighty and deep

But she rocks me gently 

So I don't get seasick 

Halls of my labyrinthine heart

Echoed empty

Too difficult to navigate

But she can walk through walls

Past lives

 I wonder

How many of these words

We've spoken to each other

In other lifetimes together