I see you every day now
Heart still jumps out of my chest
Thumping
Catching your glance
Can't keep my hands to myself
A magnet
I touch your skin
Fingers tracing and grabbing
I drink you in
Thirst never quenched
Nights you're not in my bed
I don't want to be either
Nonstop
The drive ongoing
Hum hum hum
Busy bee
Busy with nothing
Busy with worry
Why can't I rest
I lay around but never
Rest
Never still
Where is the stillness
Contentment I knew
I can't stop the hum to let it
Settle
Make it stop
Make me stop
Absent minded droning on
Scrolling on
Snippets of songs on repeat
Short short short
Attention span and I am
Humming
The is no "ever after"
When we ride into the sunset
Our consciousness follows
Saddled up with us
Each sunrise recommitting
To our forever
I cry almost every night
All of my pillows mascara stained
Some nights stress
The weight of the world or
How I struggle just to make it
Some night's that's all I am
A faucet of tears with no words
No names for emotions
Tears flow when the sun goes down
Almost every night
at a certain point
I shutter my windows
protect my glass
from storms that aren’t mine
I’m sorry but
this is how I survive
I‘ve been all
smoke and embers
since I’ve lost oxygen
flame choked out
soaked with gallons
watery tears
bring the kindling
ignite me
wound up
I try to gather
my loose strings
frayed messy ends
but you find a thread
pull me
and here I am
unraveling in front of you
